


Lock Your Heart Down

by haaaveyoumetted



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blind Date, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Strangers to Lovers, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:33:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22734133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haaaveyoumetted/pseuds/haaaveyoumetted
Summary: Loosely based on the twitter prompt:@reylo_prompts: "In an effort to take advantage of Valentine's specials every year, long time friends Ben and Rey always pretend to be a couple and have dinner together. This year, Ben tells her he doesn't want to. He fails to explain that he wants to take her on a real date instead."
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 14
Kudos: 102
Collections: Reylo Prompt Fills (@reylo_prompts)





	1. I've been hoping, somebody loves you in the ways I couldn't

Ben had been single for a _long time._ He had done some casual dating here and there over the years. He'd been in one serious relationship years ago- but looking back he didn't have many fond memories from that time. 

Despite his seemingly inevitable fate to remain single for the foreseeable future, Ben had been celebrating Valentine's Day every year for almost 4 years now- "almost" because it was coming up next week, and he had his usual plans with Rey. 

Rey had miraculously become one of his best friends since that first night Poe had brought them all together. Poe had planned a romantic night out with Finn - they'd only _just_ started dating back then. Finn had confided in Poe that he didn't want to leave Rey on her own on Valentine's Day. It was a day they spent together, celebrating their nearly lifelong friendship. Poe had probably smiled that mischievous smile of his, and told Finn he would invite his roommate along so it felt more like a double date. That way, Rey wouldn't feel left out _and_ Poe would have a legitimately good excuse to get Ben out of their place and actually socializing for a night. 

Ben had met Rey very briefly before that night, but they had never really spent time together. He had been stupidly nervous for it because he knew how important Rey was to Finn and how important Finn was to Poe. He didn't want to mess the night up for the only friend that had ever stuck around. 

But he was out of practice when it came to going on dates- and it would be his first time experience a double date. Much to his complete shock, and seemingly Rey's as well, they more than got along. It was a bit awkward and stilted at first, especially after Poe started referring to them as a couple so that the Valentine's Day specials would be applied to all of their meals. Eventually, Ben and Rey just shrugged it off and enjoyed the night. 

Ben _hated_ the fact that Poe had been right. The four of them had a wonderful time, laughing and telling stories, completely over-indulging in terms of the amount of food they ordered as a group. When the end of the night rolled around, Ben and Rey broke down the bill shared between them, quietly trading somewhat shocked expressions at the amount they actually got discounted for "being a couple". It was completely ridiculous. Despite that fact, Rey still tried to convince Ben to let her pay for her half, but eventually relented when it became clear she was not winning that one. 

Poe and Finn said their goodnights, with Poe giving them far too much information about what the rest of his night with Finn would consist of. He winked at Ben and told him to ' _take care of Rey_ ' since she ' _wouldn't want to be anywhere near the apartment she shared with Finn_ '. Ben huffed out a laugh, shaking his head fondly as he watched them walk towards Poe's car. 

"Well, at least they didn't lock me out with nowhere to go." Rey sighed. Her eyes widened as she processed the words that had just come out of her mouth. "I- I mean... if you don't mind, that is. I suppose I could go to the campus library or something if.. if you have plans-"

"Rey" he interrupted softly. "If I had plans tonight, Poe wouldn't have set up this 'double date' to keep me from sitting at home doing work by myself on Valentine's Day." 

Rey looked up at him and smiled. "Oh... right. Well then. Lead the way." 

He smiled back at her and they started walking towards his car. It only took them about 15 minutes to get back to the apartment he shared with Poe, and they spent most of it in surprisingly comfortable silence. 

When they arrived, they collapsed onto opposites ends of the couch and Ben turned on the TV. After scrolling through Netflix for about 10 minutes they decided to put Archer on, and they soon discovered it would end up being mostly background noise. 

"I know that Finn convinced Poe to pester you until you agreed to come along tonight. He doesn't like leaving me alone on holidays- especially if he's off celebrating with someone else." Rey began. "I feel like I should apologize for hijacking your night... but I've really enjoyed tonight a lot." She admitted sheepishly. 

Ben turned to look at her and the corners of his lips twitched up into an almost smile. "I think we can share the blame for this one. Like I said earlier, I would've just been here working and Poe hates that I don't put effort into building a social life for myself. So he tries to do it for me." 

Rey laughed in response. "Yeah, that sounds like Poe." 

"But I had a good time tonight too. Just... don't tell him I said that. I'll never live it down. He'll think he's justified in trying to make me get out of the house all of the time." Ben groaned, running a hand over his face. "I will admit, I was surprised to see it was you." 

"Oh?" Rey replied, raising an eyebrow. She sat up straighter, clearly intrigued by the revelation. 

Ben shrugged, looking down at his lap and then shifting his focus to the TV screen in front of them. "You just- you seem like you're far better with people than I am... I don't know how you didn't already have a date." 

Rey could feel herself blushing. She let out a self-depreciating laugh. "I- thank you? That's really kind of you to say." Rey replied, trying to gather her thoughts. "I don't really date much. My school work takes up a lot of my time- if not most of it. Plus there's my part time job, for the things my scholarship doesn't cover. I haven't found anyone worth squeezing into my extremely impossible schedule yet." 

Ben nodded. "I can understand that. My priorities were the same when I was in school." Ben paused, trying to decide if what he wanted to say next was a bad idea. "If by some crazy happenstance you're not seeing anyone on Valentine's Day next year and if the more likely scenario that Finn and Poe are still together is also the case, I'd be happy to be Finn's stand-in again." He was fidgeting with his hands and not looking at her. He would feel like a giant moron if she laughed at him, told him 'thanks but no thanks'. He'd grown accustomed to letting the rejection wash over him in moments like this. It was a stupid suggestion, anyway. 

"I don't know Ben.. I think you're going to regret that offer when February 14th rolls around next year and you owe me another fake date." Rey replied, biting her lip in a poor attempt to keep the smirk off her face. She glanced over at him and their eyes met. 

He felt himself smiling fully at her, like they traded banter like this all the time. "Regret it? Absolutely not. I'll get to look forward to nonsensically overpriced food at a discounted rate." 

"That's fair. As someone who adores food more than pretty much anything, I have to respect that." Rey acknowledged with a nod. 

"Plus, it'll also mean a whole year has passed and you can still tolerate me enough to be in the same room. That'll be worth celebrating." Ben added. He had meant it mostly as a joke, but there was still a reason he really only had one friend. 

Rey scoffed. "Nonsense. If anything, it'll be the other way around. You've only spent a few hours with me. If we do find time to hang out between now and then, you have _no idea_ what you're getting yourself into." 

Ben highly, _highly_ doubted that, but he'd let it go- for now. Instead he nodded and replied. "Well, if our schedules are both too busy and that doesn't happen, I'll look forward to catching up this time next year." 

Rey looked over at him and smiled. "It's a date." 

And that's how the new tradition started. Ben and Rey found the time to hang out once or twice every few months- during which they gave each other _several_ opportunities to back out of their arrangement. It didn't take very long for that to go from a serious offer to a joke between friends. 

It wasn't really until this past year that Ben and Rey got to spend a lot of time together. Ben had quit his job recently after years and years of being completely fed up with his boss. Ben was great with numbers- he always had been. What he _wasn't_ great with was pretending that he didn't notice when the numbers didn't make any sense. Snoke wanted someone just as smart as Ben, but without the conscience. After putting his two weeks in, which led to Snoke dismissing him immediately, Ben decided to take some time off before jumping into a new job. He still needed to figure out what he even wanted that to be. 

It was Rey's senior year in college and even though she had seemingly endless papers to write and projects to put together and presentations to give, she found more and more reasons to spend time with Ben. Sometimes she'd stop in for lunch between classes, or come over at the end of her day when she needed peace and quiet to actually focus and be productive. Ben helped her study and gave her advice when she asked for it; and gradually, she started to become someone he was used to having around. 

They promised each other that no matter how busy they both got, they _had to_ hang out one night a week. That night, Rey was coming over to de-stress. She wanted to watch movies and eat pizza and spend a few hours not thinking about her final semester nearly coming to an end. 

Ben had just finished showering when he heard the telltale 'thud' of his front door, and a muffled voice calling out his name. 

"I'll be out in a minute!" He replied, quickly running a towel over his body and through his hair before pulling some clothes on. He ran a hand through his hair anxiously and walked out of the bathroom, making is way down the hall and into the living space. 

Rey wasn't visible from where he was standing, meaning she had most likely claimed the couch. He continued walking until he was standing at the foot of it. He felt the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile as he looked down at her. "I see you've claimed your spot for the evening" Ben said, placing his hands on the arm of the couch and leaning down towards her.

She smiled and her eyes fluttered open to meet his. She stretched her arms over her head and nodded. "I have made the executive decision that I will not be moving from this spot until absolutely necessary- and probably not even then." Rey replied. 

Ben's smile widened and he shook his head in amusement. "Well, the good news is, you won't have to put your body or your mind through this ever again in a few weeks." Ben offered. "Unless you decide to do what I did" He added. 

"Well, _Doctor_ Solo, as tempting as it sounds to spend like 8 more years in school, at this moment in time I think I'll have to pass." Rey teased. 

"You're smart enough and determined enough to do it, if you wanted to. The road to a doctorate is fucking awful but y'know. Then you get the bragging rights of being a doctor so it all evens out." Ben replied as he lifted her feet, sat down on the couch, and place them on his thighs. 

Rey scoffed. "Bragging rights? I had to drag it out of you that you had a doctorate. You put yourself through hell to get it and you don't even do anything with it. You're really selling me on this, let me tell you." 

"You are such a brat sometimes" Ben replied with a playful sigh. "But you're right. Now that I'm looking for work, I probably should at least attempt to put it to use." 

Rey sat up in excitement. "Ooh, have you thought more about what you want to do?"

Ben shrugged. "I've been considering teaching. Maybe start looking at some Universities- see who has positions available." 

"I think that's a brilliant idea! I know you'd be good at it. Plus you'd probably have people calling you Doctor _and_ Professor. _Two_ super fancy titles to get used to." Rey replied cheekily. 

"Will you stop that" Ben said, laughing nervously. He could _feel_ himself blushing. It wasn't the thought of actually using those titles that embarrassed him.

Over the past year Ben had gone from being completely in denial into something much more frightening. He told himself over and over again that he enjoyed spending time with Rey, strictly as friends. But as the months passed he found it more and more difficult to explain how his apartment felt like something was missing when she wasn't there. How his weeks dragged when they were too busy to spend time together. How he felt the urge- _the need_ \- to make sure she was taken care of; that she was actually eating and sleeping somewhere among all the studying and papers and projects. It _really_ hit him about a month prior when they brought up their upcoming Valentine's 'date'. She had jokingly asked him if he'd found a girl he wanted to ask out _for real_ and he felt his stomach drop. He'd been looking forward to their 'date' all year, even though it was never a real date... he wanted it to be one. He knew he was supposed to come up with some sort of answer that felt like a joke and then she'd respond in kind when he sent the question back in her direction. But _god_ he really didn't want to hear the answer. He _knew_ one year this would all have to come to an end. The fact that she was still single at this point made absolutely no sense to him whatsoever. He was dreading the day his luck ran out. 

So no, normally being called 'Professor' or 'Doctor' wouldn't have been a huge deal. But when _Rey_ said it to him in that playful, teasing tone- it did things to him. Things that he could _not_ risk thinking about while she was in the room. He had been trying to work up the courage for weeks now to ask her out on a _real_ date for Valentine's Day. He had planned on asking her tonight; but with every minute that passed, he felt his confidence fading. She was _just_ about to finish school and get out into the real world. She still had so much time to be young and adventurous, and not tied down to someone 10 years older, who had already had his own chance to experience all that. He didn't want to take that away from her.

But he also knew he would regret it every day for the rest of his life if he didn't ask her when he had the chance. 

"Rey" Ben said quietly- just enough volume to get her attention. 

She hummed in acknowledgment, turning her gaze from her phone screen to look at him.

"I was thinking... of maybe doing Valentine's Day a bit differently this year." Ben swallowed nervously. 

She raised her eyebrows in curiosity. "Oh?" she replied. "What did you have in mind?" 

He wished he knew if this topic of conversation made her as anxious as it made him. 

"I... I wanted to- want to- go out on an actual date this year" Ben eventually managed, stumbling over his words. 

She looked away from him, focusing on her hands in her lap. "Right. Of course. That makes sense." She nodded, not giving much away. "I knew- we _both_ know this wasn't going to be a tradition forever." she continued. "So, finally found a lovely lady you'd like to take out?" the teasing tone returning to her voice. 

She looked up at him and he couldn't look away. Couldn't find any of the words he'd been rehearsing in his head for weeks. 

"Actually, wow. Sorry. That's completely your business. I shouldn't pry." Rey apologized before he had figured out how to continue. "But I am happy for you Ben. You deserve to go out on propers dates instead of being stuck going out on 'dates' with me." 

Ben finally found his voice, his eyes widening as he quickly realized she was _completely_ misunderstanding where he was trying to go with this. "Rey, I-" 

"It's fine, Ben." Rey cut in, waving him off. "You don't have to explain anything. I think it'll be good for both of us. Poe has someone he's been bugging me to go out with anyway." 

"Oh" Ben replied. His head felt like it was spinning from how rapidly the entire conversation got away from him. He'd never been smooth with women- not the ones he had genuine interest in, anyway- but this was a whole new low. A massive and complete failure of epic proportions. He could probably salvage it from here- clear up the misunderstanding. But would that be fair to her? Ben didn't want to be completely selfish. Clearly she was at least curious enough to be interested in who Poe wanted to set her up with. And as much as he wanted to blame ALL of this one Poe- who had insisted on setting them up on their original fake date years ago- he knew his lack of eloquence of speech and self confidence when it counted was not Poe's fault. Ben would suck it up, spend his Valentine's Day alone - absolutely not thinking about Rey and the 'proper' date she was going to be on. He spent many - _most of_ \- his Valentine's Day alone. He was better that way. 

X x X x X x X x X

Ben woke up to his phone yelling at him from his bedside table, but not because of an alarm he'd set. This was his ringtone. He huffed out in annoyance as he rolled over and stretched out his left arm to grab it. _Poe._

"You better be on the verge of death, calling me this early" Ben greeted, tiredly running his hand over his face. 

"Good morning to you too, sunshine." Poe replied, clearly satisfied with himself for catching Ben before he woke up. 

"Poe, I swear to God there better be an actual reason for this phone call." Ben threatened, glaring at his ceiling. "And it doesn't _sound_ like you're on your death bed." 

He could _hear_ Poe smirking through the phone. 

"Well I may not be on my deathbed, but I am _wounded_ that you didn't think telling your best friend you were seeing someone was important. I mean, you could've at least given me some warning that I'd need to find another date for Rey." Poe replied. 

Ben suddenly felt entirely too awake. He hadn't even had his coffee yet. Poe should knew better. He grumbled these sentiments to him and sat up in bed, resigned to the fact that Poe wasn't going to leave him alone until he got some answers. Ben knew if he hung up on him, Poe would just come over and knock on his door until he agreed to talk about it. They'd known each other for too long to believe Poe would do any less than that if Ben refused to talk about it. 

Ben stood up and walked into the kitchen, phone still pressed to his ear. "I'm not seeing anyone, Poe." Ben sighed, walking over to the counter and starting to brew his coffee. "And before you start making claims that I'm lying to you- I'm not. You know I'm not. I refuse to believe you wouldn't be the first person to figure it out." 

There was a beat of silence before Poe responded. "...dammit." 

Ben laughed, walking over to pull a mug down from the top cabinets. 

"I mean... I have to be missing something then. Why would Rey think you're seeing someone if you're not? You two are pretty close... So I figured.. " Poe explained. "Why would she ask me to set her up with someone because you can't be her date if you're not seeing anyone?"

Poe sounded completely confused and Ben couldn't blame him. What kind of absolute moron, who doesn't have a date, would willingly turn Rey down? 

Ben took a deep, steadying breath before replying. "Because she thinks I'm seeing someone. I told her I wanted to go on a real date this year. She decided that meant I had a date set up with someone else and proceeded to tell me that you had someone you'd been wanting to set her up with anyway." He finished with a shrug, knowing Poe couldn't see it. 

"I really don't think words exist in any language for me to accurately convey to you how much of an idiot you are" Poe replied.

"Gee, thanks Poe. You say that as if I haven't felt the complete force of that since she left my place last week." Ben replied. 

"Why did you just tell her? It's not like she actually has a boyfriend or anything." Poe pointed out.

"And that's exactly why I didn't" Ben replied, staring at the coffee brewing in front of him. "Rey's young. She's nearly done with school and then she'll get a job and experience the world outside of campus life. She'll meet new people. Make new friends. When she inveitably finds her somebody, I don't want her to feel awkward about the whole 'fake date' thing; or for her to feel like she's comfortable with just that and then she misses out on all of the real dates she should be going on." 

He hears Poe sigh and a bout of silence follows.

"She's ten years younger than I am, Poe." Ben added. "The experiences she should be starting- I've already had them." 

"Yeah, yeah. I get what you mean. Rey's lucky to have a friend like you. She's one hell of a catch and not many people in your situation would be as unselfish or so clearly a masochist as you are right now." Poe replied. 

Ben shook his head and poured his coffee. 

"You're lucky I love you, Solo. Now I have two dates to plan- on top of my own- on very short notice." Poe continued. 

"Two?" Ben asked, his eyebrows scrunched in confusion. 

"One for Rey, one for you, and it's my year to plan for Finn and I." Poe explained. 

"I don't need a date, Poe. I'm fine on my own." Ben offered. 

"Bullshit. If Rey gets to go on a real date this year, then so do you. I set you two up so that you wouldn't be spending that day lone. That was the whole point." Poe argued.

Ben sat down on the couch, placing the steaming hot mug on the table in front of him. "Fine. If you can find someone to set me up with I'll go. But finding Rey a date needs to be the priority over me." Ben conceded. 

"You've got yourself a deal" Poe replied. "Anyway, I've gotta go. I'll talk to you soon."

Ben said goodbye and set his phone down, finally getting some peace to enjoy his coffee. 


	2. I didn't know that I was starving 'till I tasted you

Ben was already regretting agreeing to let Poe set him up with someone, but it was a small price to pay, knowing Rey was going to get the night out she deserved. He knew Poe wouldn't set her up with someone that he didn't trust completely. They all knew Rey was extremely special and there were few men out there worth of her. He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. This kind of thinking wasn't productive. He needed to keep himself busy. He grabbed his laptop and pulled up a few tabs with the Universities he was most interested in, hoping they had positions available. This was exactly the kind of project he needed, and over the last few weeks, he'd realized he'd had enough of a break. He needed a new challenge and a fresh start of sorts.

The weeks following passed by quicker than Ben realized. He'd channeled his energy into his job search and any time he wasn't occupied with that, he found himself at the gym. He'd been slacking in that department lately, and wanted to feel like he was in good health again. He'd managed to get a few interviews lined up and wanted to make sure he was feeling like the best version of himself for them.

He would have forgotten about Valentine's Day all together if Poe hadn't stopped by. "What's the occasion?" Ben asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

"What? I can't just randomly come visit my best friend?" Poe replied, walking over to the kitchen and leaning back against the counter.

Ben rolled his eyes. "You can- and you do." Ben relented. "But you seem far too excited about _something_ for it to just be that. It's written all over your face." He said, giving Poe a pointed look.

"Fine, fine. You got me. I came by to make sure you're ready for Valentine's Day. Your day has been secured, and I know how you are." Poe replied. 

"Fuck" Ben sighed, setting his mug in the sink and turning away from Poe. "I completely forgot." 

Poe smirked. "I figured you might have." he replied smugly. "But you don't have anything to stress about. I already made reservations for you. Friday, 7:30 at Jedha." 

"How the _hell_ did you pull that off?" Ben asked, genuine surprise evident in his tone. "Jedha _had_ to have been booked out since _last_ Valentine's Day." 

Poe smirked again. "I pulled some strings, don't worry about it. Like I said, everything is taken care of. All you need to do is get all dressed up and show up on time. She's going to meet you there." 

Ben shook his head in disbelief, the beginnings of a smile on his face. "And I assume you're not going to tell me who my date is?" 

"You know me so well Benny boy." he replied, clapping him on the shoulder. "The wait staff have both of your names down, they'll make sure you both get to the right table." 

Ben huffed out a laugh. "I don't understand why you're putting so much effort into this, but I am impressed."

Poe stepped closer, placing his hands on Ben's shoulders. "Because you deserve it Ben. And I- don't give me that look. _You. deserve. to. be. happy."_

Ben just stared back at him for a moment, unsure of how to respond. 

"Look, I know we don't really talk about it, but after everything you've been through and everything you've done for me..." Poe struggled to find the words. "I need you to trust me. I need you to know that I'm doing this because I think it'll be good for you." Poe said. 

"I do" Ben replied. "Trust you, that is. You're the only person on the planet- other than _possibly_ my mother- that I would actually trust with something like this." 

Poe smiled and pulled the other man in for a hug. They spent the rest of the night catching up as Poe raided Ben's closet, making sure he'd be appropriately dressed on Friday night. He wouldn't admit it, but Ben was relieved Poe was choosing what he thought he'd look best in. Ben knew how to dress, his closet proved that fact. But he knew by the time Friday rolled around, he'd be so anxious that he'd probably panic and wear something ridiculous. 

X x X x X x X x X

Friday came around far more quickly than Ben was prepared for. He woke up with butterflies in his stomach - the anxiety keeping any appetite he normally would have had at bay. Thankfully, he was able to stomach his cup of coffee; he knew he'd be intolerable without it. That wasn't _exactly_ the first impression he wanted to make- and he had a few of those today that he really needed to not mess up. He had an interview he needed to be at that morning- the last of his interviews. It put his mind at ease a bit, knowing he had somewhere else to channel some of his nervous energy; something to distract him from being anxious about his date. 

And if there was ever an interview to do it, it would be this one. He'd been to interviews all over the country since putting his resume out there. It had surprised him; caught him off guard completely, how many institutions were eager to set up meetings with him. That day he was interviewing with arguably one of the most sought after, prestigious Universities around; the one he had gone to while completing his doctorate. The one Rey was about to graduate from. Chandrila University was his top choice and he knew if they offered him a position, he would accept it on the spot. He loved New York and didn't particularly want to move if he didn't have to. His handful of friends were all here and slowly this apartment had started to feel like home to him. 

Although, there had been one noticeably absent element lately that made it feel less like home. 

Rey had been right, telling him he should pursue this career path. Of course. He hadn't seen her since that night that he broke off their arrangement. They had texted a few times, but the end of the semester was just taking up too much of her time and energy. Despite her never mentioning it, he had a feeling some of that time and energy was also being taken up by whoever Poe was setting her up with that night. He had a feeling they'd already started getting to knew each other. Poe wouldn't have had to trick her into it, jumping through hoops to get her to agree to it. She was much more agreeable than Ben ever was, and that's definitely why Poe had insisted this be a blind date. He knew Ben far too well. 

Ben finished his coffee and took a quick shower before getting dressed and grabbing his briefcase. The University had copies of all of his credentials and achievements, as well as his thesis projects and published works. 

But it put his mind slightly as ease to have some physical copies with him, just in case. 

He took a few deep breaths, looked himself over in the mirror for what felt like the 20th time that morning. He had put on a pair of charcoal dress pants, a navy blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows, and his black Oxford shoes. He wanted to look professional without going overboard and felt like he achieved that, at least to an extent. He turned and headed for the door, knowing he couldn't spend any more time fussing over it. He couldn't afford to be late. 

The drive to campus only took him about 15 minutes, which was another huge selling point for him, if they were interested in offering him a job. There weren't many places in New York where he'd be that lucky- especially if he had gone back into the corporate world. Chandrila was just far enough outside of the city that it was accessible without wanting to pull your hair out at the amount of traffic. 

He pulled into the closest parking spot he could find to Corellia Hall. It was a building he was familiar with, housing the classrooms and offices for a large chunk of the Mathematics and Physics departments. Ben had spent a lot of his time in that building as a student, so he knew the quickest way there and how to avoid the hoard of students that would spill out into the courtyard and clog up the walkways if classes let out while he was on his way there. 

Ben forced himself to take deep breaths as he walked. He was thankful that the courtyard was mostly empty. That, paired with the familiarity of the walk he was making, helped to calm his nerves considerably. He could _almost_ say he was feeling confident by the time he was climbing the stairs and pushing the doors open. 

He was scheduled to meet with the Dean of the University and the head of the Mathematics department in about 10 minutes. He'd met both of them during his time on campus, and thankfully, he'd had positive experiences with both Dean Holdo and Galen Erso. Erso had been an advisor on a few of his projects, meaning he was familiar with the work he was capable of doing, as well as the knowledge he possessed. Amilyn Holdo would be able to vouch for him on a more personal level- in terms of his integrity and who he was outside of being a student. She was, and had a long history of being, friends with his mother. He'd grown up running into her at family functions, but he couldn't say they'd ever been particularly close. He still couldn't believe she'd called him in for an interview. She was a very moral, ethical woman, and he was afraid she's think he was trying to get a position out of some sort of nepotism. If she believed that even for a second, he wouldn't be here; which had been a massive relief. 

He weaved his way down the halls and up a large set of stairs before he found the wing of the building the housed the faculty offices. Ben smiled at the receptionist as he reached the large desk, and she smiled back. 

"Good morning" she greeted. "How can I help you?"

"My name is Ben Solo. I have a meeting scheduled with Ms. Holdo and Mr. Erso. I'm a few minutes early." He replied. 

Her eyes lit up in recognition and she nodded. "Of course. Yes, I've been informed that you'd be coming in. Please, have a seat and I'll let them know you're here." 

"Thank you" Ben replied, walking over to the small assortment of chairs pushed up against one of the walls. He fidgeted with his hands as he waited, going through everything he wanted to say in his head one last time. He was as prepared as he possibly could be, but somehow that still didn't feel like it was enough. 

A few minutes later, the receptionist stood from her desk and called out to him. "Mr. Solo? If you'll follow me, they're ready to meet with you now." 

He nodded and picked up his briefcase as he stood to follow her. They walked down to the end of the hallway and the young woman knocked on the door, alerting those inside of their arrival. He heard Amilyn invite them in and the young lady opened the door for him. Ben smiled and thanked her as he walked past to step inside. 

Ben walked up to her with a smile, offering his hand. "Thank you for your time today, it's wonderful to see you again." 

Amilyn took his hand, smiling back at him. "Of course, Ben. We were delighted when we saw your resume come in."

Ben turned and shook Galen's hand, greeting him as well. "She's right. Even though you ventured off into other things, I'd always held out hope that you'd find your way back one day." Galen agreed. 

They all took their seats and settled in as Amilyn spoke again. "I think we should just get right to it. There are normally quite a few formalities when it comes to interviews like this, but I think we can all agree that won't be necessary." 

Galen nodded in agreement. Ben knew his curiosity was written all over his face, but he couldn't help it. He had no idea what to expect out of this meeting. 

"As Galen said, myself, Galen and the heads of the science departments always saw something special in you, Ben. It was a shame to see you walk away after your Doctorate. But I understand that everyone has to walk their own path, in their own time." she continued. "The important thing is, your path did lead you back here. As you are aware, we currently have a vacant position; Mathematics of Physics and Engineering is in need of professor. It's a lower division course, but it is a 245 class. The faculty of the science departments, and myself, have all agreed that you would be a wonderful fit, if that interests you." 

All of the gears that had been working on overdrive in Ben's mind came to a screeching halt. "Are...are you... is that an offer? for the position?" 

They hadn't asked Ben any questions about his credentials or his published works. Didn't poke and prod at him about why he thinks he'd be a good fit for the University. Surely it couldn't be that easy. 

Amilyn smiled fully, the sincerity of it not lost on Ben. Those kinds of smiles form her were reserved for special moments, and he knew what that meant. "All you have to do is accept, Ben. As I said earlier, we don't want to waste anybody's time. We know you're more than qualified for the position. We know that you're a great fit for the campus. You really thrived here during your time as a student, and the faculty that you'd be working along side only had positive things to say. You've already proven to us that you're completely dedicated to your work. We can't ask for much for than that." 

Ben laughed, feeling a little light headed from how happy he felt in that moment. He never considered himself much of a people person, and although he had worked hard during the road to his doctorate, he never felt like he was being recognized above anyone else. Clearly, he'd been so far inside his own head about everything that somehow he'd completely missed the obvious. _Rey was right._ And so were Amilyn and Galen. This is where he belonged. "Then I accept." 

X x X x X x X x X

By the time Ben he walked back through campus and to his car, his cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much. He couldn't tell you the last time he felt this _giddy._ That's the only word he could think of to describe it. He felt like he was floating on air. 

No matter what happened with his date tonight, he knew that nothing could ruin his day. It could end up being a total disaster and he did't know if he'd even notice. 

On his way back to his apartment, he stopped by the store to pick up some flowers and then hurried back to make lunch for himself and finish up some chores around the place before he had to get ready. The next few hours flew by as he kept himself busy. By the time he was finished, his entire apartment was clean, he'd sorted out all of the paperwork he needed to start his new position when the new school year started in about 6 months, and still had about an hour left to get himself ready. 

He quickly took another shower and carefully pulled out the clothes Poe had picked out for him a few days ago. It [consisted of](https://imaging.broadway.com/images/custom/w1400/107951-0.jpg) a [white dress shirt](https://imaging.broadway.com/images/custom/w1400/107949-0.jpg), a charcoal grey suit jacket and matching dress pants, and his Oxford shoes. Poe insisted he pair it with a red tie, being Valentine's Day and all. He couldn't find it in himself to argue; not after Poe had worked so hard to pull this together last minute. 

Ben sat in his car, in front of his building, fidgeting, about 20 minutes later. He had triple checked everything already. He had his wallet, he had the small bouquet of flowers he had picked up. He _was_ wearing what Poe had picked out- he'd checked with Poe before he left, just to make sure. 

H wasn't used to having this much pent up anxiety- at least not over a date. It has been years since he'd been on one. He'd gone on a few very casual ones during the doctorate program, but even that had been in the early years. It was fair to say he was slightly out of practice. 

"This is ridiculous" he sighed to himself. 

If he left now, he'd get there pretty early. But anything was better than pacing around his entire apartment over and over again.

He nervously drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, his brain mostly on autopilot as he made the roughly 20 minute drive. Normally, he'd never drive into the city. But he didn't want to rely on public transport. If the date ended up being a disaster, he'd want to be alone. And if by some miracle it ended up being a success- well, then, their options wouldn't be dictated by the schedules of public transportation. 

Ben noticed that the parking lot was packed as he pulled into the complex. Under normal circumstances, he may have had the patience to find a parking spot himself- but tonight he pulled up to the front of the restaurant, happily handing his keys to the host at the valet. Ben nodded in thanks and pulled out his wallet, slipping the man a $20 as a tip. If his car survived the night unscathed there would be more waiting for him when he handed the keys back. There probably still would be either way. 

Ben anxiously ran a hand through his hair as he approached the front doors, fiddling with the bouquet in his other hand. He could feel his heartbeat racing, pulsing through his fingertips as anticipation overtook him. 

He smiled politely at the hostess as he approached. "I have a reservation under Ben Solo."

The young woman smiled, responding without having to look down at the clipboard in front of her. "Ah yes, Mr. Solo. If you'll follow me." 

She stepped out from behind the podium and began leading him towards the back of the dining room. "Your date hasn't arrived yet, but I'll make sure she's seated right away when she does." She stopped and gestured towards a table that had been set for two- candles lit and a bottle of wine ready to be served. 

Ben thanked her and took a moment to decide where he wanted to sit. Did he want to see her as she was being led to the table? Did he want to face the opposite direction and try to calm his nerves? He knew he was completely overthinking it. 

He decided to sit in the chair facing the front of the restaurant. He'd been waiting long enough to finally see the woman Poe went through all of this fanfare to set him up with. He didn't know what to do with his hands, or where to look. He didn't want to bury himself in his phone. As much as he needed a distraction, he didn't want to miss greeting her when she arrived. It would be extremely rude and he didn't know if he could come back from a slight like that. Even if she brushed it off, he would feel like an asshole the rest of the night. 

He glanced around the room, admiring the atmosphere that had been created. The main lighting in the dining room area had been dimmed considerably, and fairy lights accented the walls. He didn't quite know how to describe it, but it almost felt like there was a... _glow._ The room felt like it held possibilities and he didn't know if that made him more or less anxious. The candles on all of the tables only added to the surreal effect of it all. He was starting to feel like he was in a dream...

...no, he was _sure_ he was in a dream. He _had to be._

Because the hostess from a few minutes prior was leading a woman over towards his table, that same friendly smile on her face. 

But it wasn't just any woman following closely behind her; it was _[Rey](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/45/87/bc/4587bcf599db8ff930f711b90cd0e5ac.jpg). _He felt his mouth go completely dry, his pulse spiking as he sat frozen in his chair. She had simple, natural make up on with a vibrant shade of red lipstick. Her hair was pulled back elegantly, leaving her gorgeous, adorably freckled face completely on display. She looked stunning and elegant, but still so purely _[Rey](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/a6/af/fe/a6affe40d792b9fe01ab9fa2a0e399cd.jpg). _She was absolutely radiant and felt like the final puzzle piece falling into place. _Surreal indeed._

He forced himself to meet her eyes, seeing his own surprise reflected back at him as they approached the table. The hostess politely and subtly dismissed herself as Ben stood to approach Rey. "You-... wow, you look incredible." The fact that he could string together a sentence at all in that moment was an accomplishment. 

She smiled, glancing at the ground and then back up at him again. "Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself." Her eyes scanned the length of his body before meeting his eyes again. 

Ben smiled and stepped around the pull her chair out for her, gently pushing it in as she sat. She quietly thanked him as he made his way back over to his own seat. "I.. I'm not sure what to say, to be completely honest. Did... did something fall through with your date? Or- oh god, please don't tell me my date decided not to show up and Poe dragged you into this again." Ben felt dread creeping up his spine at the thought. If he had ruined her date night... he'd feel guilty for a very long time. 

Rey shook her head, looking down at her hands in her lap. "No, this is-... Poe never changed anything." She replied. "At least, not to my knowledge. This is always the place and time I was supposed to meet my... date. So maybe it's my fault we're both here. Maybe my date bailed on me." She continued with a shrug. 

Ben stared at her, trying to find the words to say- not even really knowing what he wanted to say. Or what the _right thing_ to say was in a situation like this. "Well, if that's the case, he's the biggest moron in the entire state of New York, for throwing away the chance to spend time with you." 

A look of surprised crossed her features briefly and she gave him her first full, beautifully bright smile of the evening. If he hadn't already been a completely and hopelessly in love with her, that smile surely would have done it. "I'm sorry that whatever did end up happening, you're not getting that real date that you wanted this year. I know how disappointing that can be." She apologized wistfully. 

"Rey" he spoke softly. He waited for her to look at him before he continued. "I don't want you to ever think that us getting to spend time together could disappoint me. I haven't been on a 'proper date', as you've referred to it, in years. It won't kill me to wait." He held her gaze to make sure she knew he was being completely genuine. He hoped she could feel it in the way he was looking at her. "Now, since Poe put so much time and energy into setting this up, we should probably just enjoy it." He reached over and pulled the bottle of wine from the serving stand it had been sitting in at the edge of the table. "Would you like a glass of wine, Ms. Johnson?" 

"I would absolutely _love_ a glass of wine, Mr. Solo. Thank you." She replied, pushing her glass towards him. "Are those flowers?" She asked, staring at the bouquet he'd had sitting on the table.

His eyes widened and he reached for them, staring at them as he spoke. "They are- I ... well, they're for you." He said, handing them to her across the table. 

Rey accepted them happily, lifting them to her face to smell them. "They're lovely, thank you." 

"You're welcome." Ben replied, shifting his focus back to the wine and carefully poured the liquid into her glass. He handed it to her before filling his own. "It's been a while since we've actually had time to catch up. How's your final semester treating you? I know you still have a few months left... but that tends to fly by quicker than you're ready for."

She groaned as she took a sip of her wine. "It's awful. I mean, I'm staying on top of it. I haven't turned in any late assignments or anything like that, but it just feels _endless._ I can't seem to get ahead enough on anything to give myself time to relax." She admitted. 

"I know it seems impossible while you're in the middle of it, but I promise Rey. You're so close and you're not panicking and falling apart. You're far, far less of a mess than most people at this point." Ben offered. "The offer still stands, by the way. If you need someone to study with, or even just a quiet place to study... my door is always open to you." He hoped he didn't sound as nervous as he felt. She hadn't been over since their misunderstanding and he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable about their friendship. 

"Thank you, Ben. I may just have to take you up on that offer. I know things are only going to _keep_ getting more hectic and if I don't have somewhere quiet every now and then.. I might actually lose my mind." Rey replied, gently twirling her wine glass. 

"That's understandable." Ben nodded. "It's been pretty quiet without you around. Poe has been so busy lately that he hasn't been stopping by and causing his normal chaos either." 

Rey giggled. "Wow, your place must be so clean and tidy at the moment." She paused, looking like she had more to say. "I'll have to stop by and make a bit of a mess, keep things interesting for you." She smirked. "Oh! How's the job search been going? Have you decided what you want to do yet? I've been so caught up in my own thing that I-" She seemed flustered, a slight blush covering her cheeks. 

Ben laughed, taking pity on her. "It's fine, Rey. I get it. I think... I think you'll be happy to know I've actually accepted a position somewhere. As of this morning." He couldn't quite keep the smile off of his face, even just thinking about it. 

"That's amazing!" Rey gushed, seating forward slightly in her seat, leaning in towards him. "What will you be doing? Are you staying here in New York?" 

Ben felt a warmth spread through him at the excitement in her expression. "I've been offered a position as a professor, at Chandrila. Starting next school year." 

Rey's smile got impossibly wider, lighting up her entire face. "Ben!" she exclaimed as quietly as she could manage. "Oh my god, I don't even know what to say. Congratulations, first of all! Are you excited? You seem like you are. I don't think I've ever seen you smile this wide." 

Ben felt himself flush. "Yeah... Yeah, I mean.. I put my resume out, interviewed a few different places around the country but... this.." Ben glanced down at the table. He was trying to be vulnerable, which had never come easily to him. "...this is what I really wanted, more than anything. I told myself that if they offered me something, I'd take it immediately. But I wasn't expecting it. I'm still trying to process it all." 

"Well... I don't _really_ want to say I told you so.. but.." Rey smiled cheekily. "But on a serious note. You deserve this. You've worked hard to get to this point, and you deserve to decide what makes you happy. And I can tell that you are." 

"You did though. You saw it before I did." Ben admitted. "You were the first person I wanted to tell, when I accepted this position this morning. You... you really made me seriously consider putting my resume out there when I was skeptical about it." 

"Y-you did?" Rey was clearly caught of guard. 

Ben nodded. "I did. But, I didn't want to bother you this morning. I figured you'd be busy getting ready for your date and.. I still have about 6 months before I start so.. I figured we'd see each other at some point." 

"Seems silly now, doesn't it?" Rey teased, referring to the situation they saw themselves in at the current moment. 

Ben huffed out a laugh. "I suppose it does." 

A waitress approached their table, apologizing profusely for the delaying in coming to take their order. Ben felt himself blushing for what felt like the 100th time since Rey arrived, and he stuttered out his own apology, explaining they'd still need a few minutes. Neither of them had even picked up a menu- hadn't looked away from each other- since Rey arrived. The waitress agreed to stop by again in a few minutes, and they both picked up their menus. It was the first time that evening that a comfortable silence fell over the two of them. 

Rey was the one to break the silence. "I love Poe, but this menu is absolutely ridiculous." 

Ben's lip twitched as he contained a smile. "Poe has always had a flair for the dramatic. Completely a hopeless romantic, no matter how much he denies it." 

Rey laughed, shaking her head. "It's technically my year, y'know." 

He shifted his eyes from the menu to look up at her. She was still focused on the menu, seemingly choosing not to look at him in that moment. 

"I still would have offered, if this ended up being a real blind date- but with our whole..." she waved her hands around vaguely between the two of them. "tradition... it's my year to pay." She finally looked up at him as she finished her sentence. 

Understanding dawned on him and suddenly he felt like an idiot. "I've known you for long enough now to know I'm not going to persuade you otherwise without putting up a fight.. but seeing as Poe set this up as a real, proper date- at least at the start- and that's what you were expecting when you walked through those doors... that's what I'm going to give you." Ben replied. "I know that a major factor is different- that you're not on a date with a guy that you could really be interested in and start something with.. but, at least let me try. Let me try to give you the night out you deserve. The one you should've gotten when Poe set this up." 

Rey didn't respond immediately, which he didn't know what to do with. But he told himself to be confident- to not look away from her as she processed what he'd just said. She held his gaze and he watched as something in her eyes shifted. There was a new emotion there that he couldn't decipher, but decided it couldn't be all bad when she replied. "I think I can do that." 

They spent the rest of the evening trading banter, easily trading conversation between bites of food and glasses of wine. Ben couldn't remember a time he'd felt this relaxed. It was something more than just being content, and he wasn't quite sure what to do with it. How to make it last more than tonight. 

When the bill was brought to their table, Ben was pleasantly surprised that Rey let him pay it without trying to fight him for it first. It made him feel like she had taken his offer seriously, and if that was all he got out of tonight, he couldn't really complain. 

"So, any big plans for the rest of the night?" Ben asked, taking the last sip from his wine glass. 

Rey leaned back in her chair, sighing contentedly. "No, thank god. Now that Poe has his own place, him and Finn don't sexile me _nearly_ as much as they used to. What about you?"

Ben shook his head. "No, I didn't have anything planned for tonight. I figured that even if this date when sideways, I'd be here for at least a few hours, so I didn't see a point in trying to plan out anything else." 

Rey laughed, "Did you come into this thinking it was going to end badly?" 

"I mean..maybe? I don't know. This morning went far too well for me to _also_ have my first date in years go well. I've never been good with first dates." Ben replied with a shrug. 

"It's a good thing this isn't our first date then" Rey replied with a wink, taking another sip of her wine. 

Ben nearly choked on the sip he was taking. She had never winked at him before, not even in a stupid joking way. He had been completely unprepared for what it did to him. He set his glass back down on the table before responding. "You've got a point. We're basically experts at going on dates together." 

"We've been on, what, four whole dates now?" Rey continued playfully. "I definitely think that qualifies as expertise." 

The waitress brought Ben's card back to him and placed it on the table. 

"Well, even though this clearly wasn't what either of us expected, I want to thank you for a wonderful night." Rey said, clearly feeling like the night was coming to it's natural conclusion.

Ben felt uneasy, leaving things like this. He knew that trying to drag it out wasn't a smart thing to do. It was the complete opposite of self-preservation. But he couldn't bring himself to care. "You're welcome, Rey. As long as you leave tonight feeling that way, I'll feel like I've done my job." 

They both stood, gathering their things and slowly made their way to the front of the restaurant in silence. The wind chill hit them immediately as the stepped outside and Rey pulled her coat on and snuggled into it. 

"Do you... do you maybe want to come back to my place? I know that this probably wasn't what you wanted out of tonight... but I've got another bottle of wine, and an entire Netflix library, and a couch that hasn't been claimed by anyone in a while. If you wanted to hang out." Ben offered, feeling his confidence fading with every word that tumbled out of his mouth. 

A smile broke out on Rey's face as she nodded. "Yeah, okay. It has been a while since I've staked my claim over your entire couch... and I'd be stupid to turn down free wine." 

He smiled back at her and they chatted as they waited for Ben's car to be brought back to the valet pick up at the front of the restaurant. Conversation continued to flow easily as Ben drove them back to his place. He hadn't realized just how much he'd missed her- but now that she was next to him again, he had _no idea_ how he'd gone this long without seeing her. 

When they reached his apartment, Rey brushed passed him and collapsed onto the couch, sprawling out over every inch of it. A warmth unfurled in his chest as he watched her make herself at home in his place. He stood by the door for a moment, just taking her in as she made herself comfortable, reaching for the remote and turning the TV on. He took a few deep breaths, trying to get his emotions under control before walking over to join her. He paused mid step as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He had a next text message from Poe. He assumed it would be an explanation- albeit a delayed one- about what happened with their dates that night. 

> _Poe: Hey man, how'd it go? You and Rey finally sort things out?_

Ben felt his eyebrows furrow in confusion as he read over the text a second time. What the hell did Poe mean by 'finally sort things out'? Ben typed out a response, asking him what he was talking about, hoping to start to clear some of this up. Poe replied almost instantly. 

> _Poe: Wait.. you and Rey did actually end up on the date together, right? I didn't screw that up?_
> 
> _Ben: Yeah... we did. So what happened to our real dates? Did_ _someone bail last minute or something?_
> 
> _Poe: ... please tell me that's a joke. Don't tell me you guys spent your entire date thinking you were supposed to be with someone else._
> 
> _Ben: What were we supposed to think?_
> 
> _Poe: ... I don't know why I even try. I put you guys on a real, romantic date together so that you would actually do something about the way you feel. Please tell me you guys are still on your date so you can ask her out._
> 
> _Ben: We're not at dinner anymore. We're just hanging out at my place now. Probably just going to drink more wine and put a stupid movie on or something._
> 
> _Poe: She came back to your place?!_
> 
> _Ben: ... to hang out, yes. As friends. Because we're friends._
> 
> _Poe: I hate you so much sometimes_

Ben put his phone away, even more confused than he had been before he starting trying to find answers. He leaned down when he reached the couch, placing his arms along the back to look down at her. "I'm going to get changed. Do you want a shirt and some sweatpants or something?"

She beamed up at him and nodded. "Yes _please._ As fun as it was to get all dressed up for a night, I'm ready to be comfortable."

Ben nodded in acknowledgment and headed down the hall to grab some clothes from his room. 


	3. Nothing to lose turns right into you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this, I really appreciate all of you <3

Ben quietly closed the door behind him, resting his forehead up against it. He took a few deep, calming breaths before pushing away and walking towards the drawers he kept his casual clothes in. He could feel his hands start to shake slightly as he pulled out two pairs of sweatpants and two of the t-shirt he normally slept in. Rey was going to be sprawled out on his couch, _in his clothes_ after what felt like a wildly successful date... it _had_ felt like a real date, he realized. But he had no way of knowing if Rey felt the same way without asking her, and he didn't know if he was ready for that level of rejection. He didn't want to ruin this night. It all felt so delicate already. 

He ran a hand through his hair anxiously and shook his limbs out, trying to shake off his nerves and his doubts, before quickly stripping out of his date attire and changing into the sweatpants and t-shirt he had pulled out. He stopped by the closet before leaving the room, pulling his most comfortable hoodie off of the hanger. Rey was somehow _always_ cold. He knew she'd end up asking for it at some point anyway. 

The unmistakable voice of Meg Ryan drifted through the hall as he made his way back into the living room, and smiled to himself as the full picture came into view. He'd know the dialogue from ' _You've Got Mail'_ anywhere- the movie had always appealed to the hopeless romantic side of him that he didn't often indulge. But seeing Rey, lounging on his couch, her attention completely glued to the screen and her eyes wide and full of fondness- it was a perfect sight. Well, _almost_ perfect. Once she changed into his clothes... he had no idea how he was going to keep himself from saying something incredibly stupid. 

Ben approached the back of the couch and playfully dumped the pile of clothes onto her lap, earning him a laugh in the process. It had easily become one of his favorite sounds, and he was quickly realizing he'd do almost anything to hear it. 

Rey stood up, clutching the clothes to her midsection as she leaned over to hit 'pause'. 

"How many times have you seen this movie?" Ben teased, trying to hide the smile blooming on his face. 

She lightly bumped her hip against his as she passed him to get to the hall. "Don't be a hater, Solo. You know it's a classic." 

He shook his head as he turned to watch her disappear down the hall. "I suppose I can let it slide, just this once. Seeing as it _is_ Valentine's Day."

"Well don't I feel special" Rey replied before stepping into the bathroom and closing the door behind her. 

Ben couldn't wipe the smile off of his face as he walked over to the fridge and pulled out the bottle of wine he'd been saving- at the time, he didn't know what he was saving it for, but now he was glad he had it. He carefully grabbed two wine glasses from the cabinet above the sink and filled them about half way. He shoved the cork back into the bottle and put it back in the fridge, then picked up the glasses and made his way over to the couch. Just as he went to sit down, he heard the bathroom door open, and turned his head just in time to watch Rey slide her way to the couch, courtesy of a far too big pair of fuzzy socks, and the wooden floors that spanned his apartment - not including the bedrooms. 

A huge grin broke out on her face as she accepted the wine glass he extended to her, and plopped herself back down on the couch. "Honestly, Ben. I think you've _ruined_ me for other men." 

Ben's eyes widened and he nearly choked on the sip of wine he was taking. "Is that so?" he replied, aiming for a casual tone. He felt like he _mostly_ succeeded. "Why do you say that?'

Rey leaned back until she was practically being swallowed by the couch cushions, carefully swirling the wine in the glass she still held. "Well, the only successful dates I've been on the past few years have been with you- and even though you weren't responsible for all of the details of dinner tonight, you were still an absolute gentleman. And the company wasn't so bad." She replied, throwing another teasing wink in his direction. "And _now_ you've brought me back to an insanely comfortable couch, lent me comfortable clothes, are treating me to more fantastic wine, _and_ letting us finish the night off by watching one of my favorite romantic comedies of all time." 

Ben could feel his heart skip a beat, his face heating up as she continued to compliment him. "At least I know I've set a good standard for you. Anyone who treats you _any_ less doesn't deserve consideration as a romantic partner. You deserve nothing less." Somehow he had found his voice and spoke actual words... but he was a bit worried he'd gone too far with it. Hopefully she'd just assume he was being a good friend, even if it did seem overly protective. 

Rey turned to look at him, a huff of a laugh falling from her lips as she shook her head. She glanced down at her lap before looking back up at him. "Like I said, absolutely ruined me. I hope you're happy that you've doomed me." 

Ben huffed out a laugh of his own. "I haven't _doomed_ you, Rey. I promise you, I'm not the only man on this planet who would give you the world if you asked. Anyone with eyes who has spent any time at all talking to you, that isn't a complete moron, would agree with me." Now he _knew_ the wine was starting to go to his head a bit. He was never courageous enough to voice these kind of thoughts- even though he knew Rey deserved to hear them. She didn't hear them nearly enough, and she _needed to know._

She started at him like she was still processing the words that had come out of his mouth, and he couldn't say he blamed her. In all the years since they'd met, he'd never been quite this open with her and she had clearly noticed the change. "What- what do you mean you're not the only man who would give me the world?"

He downed the rest of his wine and set the glass on the table in front of them. "Rey, there's something I should tell you... because you deserve to know." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Poe texted me, when we got back, asking how the date went... and it turns out it _is_ my fault that we ended up at dinner together at night." 

She also set her wine glass down on the table, and gave him her full attention. The sound of the movie playing in the background was the only thing keeping him grounded. He didn't know how to handle the complete, undivided attention- especially from her. 

"I- I didn't know that Poe was going to do it. I _promise_ I had no idea. But Poe set us up on purpose, on a _real date_ because he knew I wouldn't do it on my own." Ben swallowed, running a hand through his hair. "I mean, technically I almost did... a few months ago. When I told you that was what I wanted."

"Ben... I don't understand.. what are you-" Rey's eyebrows were pinched together in confusion as she tried to follow his messy confession. 

"I was trying to ask you out." Ben blurted, grimacing slightly after the words slipped out. "When I said I wanted to go out on a real date, I meant with you. I wanted it to be a proper date this time around, and when I messed up trying to talk to you about it.. instead of setting you up with someone else like I assumed he would, Poe tried to fix what I couldn't." He couldn't bring himself to look at her, his gaze trained on his hands. 

A few excruciating seconds passed with nothing but the sounds of You've Got Mail filling the space between them. He reminded himself to breathe; even if this didn't go the way he hoped, _he would be okay_... eventually. Suddenly, two hands much smaller than his own came into view and gently covered his own, halting their anxiety-fueled movements. His gaze snapped up to her without his permission and he braced himself for the fallout. _Great way to ruin a perfect night._

"I was pretending it was a real date. Tonight. In my head." Rey admitted softly, never tearing her gaze away from his. 

'You- you... what?" Ben managed to get out. He felt like his brain had short circuited. 

Rey sighed, slowly rubbing her thumb along the top of his hand. "I thought I was fine, when we decided our tradition wasn't going to continue this year. I'd never really thought about it, honestly. Because it was just something we always did. And then... and then Poe started talking to me about setting me up with someone and it _really_ stressed me out. I don't date, Ben and I was horrified." The words seemed to be tumbling out of her without her permission at this point. He knew what that felt like. "And then I gave myself a big pep talk, got all dressed up... and when I saw you sitting there at the table- _my table-_ all dressed up and looking like _you_... I couldn't believe it. I thought maybe Poe had found out about my... well, about how much I liked you and roped you into it and..." She shrugged and glanced down at their hands. "I had the _best_ night tonight, and I wasn't prepared for that. For it to _feel real-_ like it was something you could actually want." 

Ben slowly pulled one of her hands up to his lips and pressed a soft kiss against her knuckles. His eyelids drifted closed briefly as he tried to commit the moment to memory. When he opened them again, he saw the slightest bit of pink tinging her cheeks. She was _breathtaking._ "It's all I've ever wanted. I can't even remember not wanting it." Ben admitted as he carefully lowered their hands back to his lap. "You slowly started popping up in my life- first with Valentine's Day traditions, and then study sessions in my apartment and then movie nights... and then you stopped coming around and it all just felt... _empty._ " 

"I've missed you, Ben." Rey replied. "I really thought maybe stopping our tradition was a way of you gently saying I was too much, without having to say it." 

His hand moved of it's own accord and stroked her cheek softly. "You're never too much for me, Rey. I can promise you that." 

A bright smile bloomed on her face and she leaned into his touch. "Does that mean I can keep this jumper? Because it's quite soft and I don't think I'll be ready to part with it anytime soon." 

Ben felt his cheeks starting to hurt from how much he had genuinely smiled that night. "Like I said Rey, I'm prepared to give you the world. An old sweatshirt of mine seems like a reasonable place to start." 

Rey laughed, her joy radiated the room around them and he felt his chest constrict with emotion. "Definitely sounds like a reasonable place to start." 

Ben shook his head in disbelief as he started at the incredible woman sitting in front of him. "I could get used to seeing you in my clothes. I think it's a great look for you."

"Well that's a relief, because I was planning on claiming them and incorporating them into my wardrobe as often as possible." Rey responded without missing a beat, winking at him _again._

"You're going to be the death of me." Ben replied, knowing he had absolutely no complaints about the fact whatsoever. 

"Can you at least kiss me first?" He hadn't even realized they had somehow moved closer to each other. All it would take for their lips to touch would be for one of them to lean forward just so. 

Ben slid his hand through her hair and softly grasped the back of her head, pulling her forward. Their lips connected and they both sighed into it, as if they'd both been _waiting_ for this moment - and now that they'd finally gotten it, the tension drained from their postures. They explored each others mouths slowly, before pulling away and smiling at each other. Rey rested her forehead against his and stole another quick kiss before breathing out a _'wow.'_ He couldn't say he disagreed with the sentiment. 

Ben tugged her into his side, wrapped his arms around her midsection and they snuggled up to each other to watch the rest of the movie.

Ben leaned down to kiss the top of her head, and she glanced up to look at him, whispering along with the movie as she stared into his eyes. " _I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly."_


End file.
